The 'I Don't Want to Bother Anyone' Trap and How to Get Out of It
While losing weight, changing jobs, or even getting to know each other is part of the New Year's chart of popular resolutions, working on a relationship with your current partner is crouching somewhere on the top of the charts. So if you didn't make a resolution, don't hesitate to choose to focus on better love. Good relationships make us happy (there is research on it!) And it's more pleasant than losing weight in a swimsuit.
Maybe with this text, you already have ideas of exactly what will fit into your relationship. If you don't know, you can try for example:
☎️ Hang up the phone and take care of the people around you.
In order to maximize the time spent with your partner, try giving up your mobile phone. If your partner is up to tell you a story or watch a movie together, do not forget that quality time is a very important element of each relationship.
💑 Talk about the relationship.
Conversations about "how we are actually doing it together" shouldn't be hidden or left out for the moment of argument/separation. Spend some meaningful time together and discuss with your counterpart how he/she is with you, say what you like about your relationship and what you can work on together. It's recommended to repeat this session several times a year.
📆 Put a date on your calendar.
We are probably all open to the idea of going out, but the realization is often a stumbling block. Make an appointment and add regular events to your calendar for just two people, from dinner to the theater. Ideally at least once a month. You can take turns in the planning of the event.
In conclusion, I'd like to add a small observation. If you plan to make a relationship better, you don't have to be a megalomaniac. My work and personal experience with positive changes in relationships show that frequent little things are much more effective than big gestures (Western colleagues use the slogan "little and often"). Happy upcoming New Year!
Author: Markéta Šetinová
As a psychotherapist and sociologist, Marketa helps people to find and enjoy relationships. She specializes mainly in working with singles and millennials. More about her work here.
Contact her at marketa@modernilaska.cz. Follow more content from here on Facebook and Instagram.