6 Effective Ways to Use Journaling In Breakup Healing

April, 2021

There are some tools that grow old with mankind and though things progress, they seem not to loose their powers. From the days of Marculus Aurelius in the Roman empire, journaling has been a tool to change misfortune into real wisdom, manifested with abundance in all other parts of life. Today we will take a deeper look at the power of journaling and instruct you on journaling tips you need to get over a breakup. This article will discuss the 6 Effective Ways to Use Journaling In Breakup Healing. We will first look at the different emotional and psychological stages you will have to go through, from the breakup to reaching mental health happiness. The VOS Journal features will also be mentioned multiple times throughout the article. It has already helped over 30,000 deal with the lowest stage of their lives and reach high productivity and happiness. 

To first appreciate the power of journaling in dealing with a breakup, you need to understand the critical stage of a breakup healing fully.

1. Shock and denial

At this stage, you still wonder whether it happened. You are still surprised about the breakup and want to believe this relationship never ended.

2. Desperation

Still much under-shocked but now progressively realize that the relationship has ended. You might now be searching for what wrong. What didn't go well in your relationship? Were you too careless? You may not have done anything wrong, but you will question every significant thing to find what went wrong at this stage. You might try and replay your relationship and figure out play-by-play where it went wrong. What happened to make it change? You want answers at this point.

3. Fear, loneliness, and sadness.

Now falling into the actual realization of the situation, fear of the future without that person sets in. Loneliness starts to be in the game, and sadness also becomes your daily mood.

4. Bargaining

This usually happens when you're the one who caused the breakup, or you feel like you are the one who did cause the separation. You will now be trying to get back your ex, begging him or her to stay, send messages, flowers, gifts of any kind to get your former lover back.

5. Anger

Now the situation is starting to get more emotional and anger at the center of it. You start being angry at the other person, hating and feeling frustrated. Yet you somehow also feel mad at yourself. With time you will start looking into ways to deal with that anger.

6. Acceptance

Though it takes time, you are progressively accepting that it's over. You will no longer be in that type of love relationship with the person or any other kind of relationship. Now the healing process can start, and self-care starts becoming evident to you. This is the moment you accept what has changed and started the healing process.

7. Forgiveness 

Since you have been through a lot, from hating yourself to hating the other person and accepting that things are over, it's pivotal to forgive the other person and even yourself. You might not have to go and say to the other person," I forgive you.", but the simple fact that you're doing that in your mind will stabilize your emotions. Since you are now healing, you can go the extra mile by tracking your mood continuously using the Vos Journal app. You can see how you are growing emotionally from that stage. You will learn more down into this article on how to perform this forgiveness process exactly.

Now that you have an idea of what the healing process will look like for you, let's consider how journaling can help during that whole process.

1. Ask Yourself, "How do I feel?"

This question might sound weird. We are usually being asked by others how we feel and then reciprocating it. However, this is not a common period for you. You are dealing with a plethora of feelings and thoughts. So get your journaling tool and start talking to yourself or your future self about your current state of mind. Are you happy? Sad / Melancholic ? Angry? Write about how you feel and why you think you feel that. Which stages or events during the relationship are bringing out these emotions. Maybe it's even you thinking about the other person's personality that brings about these emotions. Identify and journal all of them.

2. What did you learn about this relationship?

This is where the student of life in you has to come out. To do this, you must see life as a journey, a series of events happening to prepare you for a better future, if only you are willing to learn and improve. Take a 360 look at the relationship, go as far back as the first day you met and started dating, to what led to the breakup and the break up proper. Write down things you learn about being with that type of man. What did you discover about yourself and your own emotions? What did you learn about your relatives' point of view about your relationships? Also, what did you learn from that person?

3. Write a Letter of Forgiveness

Dealing with the whole breakout has brought many negative feelings and thoughts you have to deal with. You certainly don't want to live the rest of your life like this. Maybe you aren't yet ready to believe in love, but living with so many evil thoughts and feelings will destroy all other relationships in your life. Writing a forgiveness letter in your journal is the ideal way to forgive. You won't send that letter to the other person; you will only keep it in your journal. The Vos journal has been designed based on experimentations and science to help you coordinate all this. Maybe you have been abused in the relationship; you need to let go of that and forgive. Touch on that in your forgiveness letter. Recount all the bad things that you are holding against your Ex and ignore all of them. If you don't do that, moving on will be impossible. Life still has to go on.

4. Write about your personal goals

Since you are alone now and not so ready to be in a relationship any time soon, it is the best time to recenter your life around you and make plans that put you in the center of the action, your happiness above. Write in your journal some things you would like to achieve. If you have friends who may be like skying, and skying is part of your hobby, make t a goal to go skying with them at least once a month. Do things that will make you more productive. The VOS journaling app is centered around productivity; you may add your book reading goals and items that you think will add value to you and make you feel vital again.

5. Write a love letter to yourself

Since you have now been exploring more possibilities, this is now one thing that will bring a colossal happiness leap in your life. Take your journaling app and tell yourself what you like about yourself. Talk to yourself about how strong you are. How the thought of suicide has crossed your mind several times, but you are still here and fighting for yourself and improving day after day. Talk to yourself about the big wins you have had in your life. Express gratitude for the things you have been blessed in your life.

6.Have a confident or an expert you can talk to

Most people go through this period alone, while some are also lucky enough to have someone dealing with the pain with them. If you still see little progress in your healing journey, get a close friend in the situation, let him or her be a shoulder on which you can cry. If you don't have any friends around, seek help from a psychologist or a therapist. You can also be relying on the personalized, AI-driven tips and advice from the VOS journaling app.

No breakup is easy to deal with. However, you still have to move on, and who knows, find someone better who will bring you more happiness than you might have thought of. VOS.health app offers features of guided journaling, mood tracking, breathing exercises, and affirmation. It's an all-in-one tool for mental health, available in 8+ languages, which is currently used by over 30,000 people worldwide. Consider it as a guide for you to pass through this lonely time.

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