How To Be More Kind: 10 Ways
Do you ever find yourself feeling upset and unable to let go of something that has angered you? Or perhaps you're someone who can handle a lot without getting angry, but deep inside, you can feel the energy building up. Anger, in itself, is not always negative. It can serve as a source of motivation, empowering us to take action and recognize when change is needed in our lives. However, excessive anger can have detrimental effects on our health, relationships, and overall sense of joy.
At our counseling center, we frequently receive inquiries about anger management. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to addressing anger, in this article we aim to provide insight into various aspects and pitfalls of anger, along with introducing you to fundamental techniques for anger management.
Suppressed Anger
If you're someone who tends to hold in your anger rather than expressing it outwardly, it's essential to pay attention. While it may seem like a temporary solution to avoid confrontation, suppressing your anger only masks the behavior while allowing the underlying emotion to fester. Such suppression can have adverse effects on your physical and mental well-being. That's why finding a healthy outlet to express anger is crucial.
Uncontrolled Anger
On the opposite end of the spectrum lies uncontrolled anger, where the intensity becomes overwhelming, making it challenging to maintain self-control. Initially, it may seem effective to release anger by shouting at others as a means to achieve desired outcomes. However, this unchecked anger can lead to long-term health issues and disrupt your relationships, both personal and professional.
Strategies for Effective Anger Management
Psychologists emphasize that there is no universal intervention to address anger. Each individual must discover techniques that suit their unique circumstances and context. While the journey will be personal, we offer some guidance to help you get started. Remember to be patient with yourself and find what works best for you.
Self-Awareness
Just as it's easier to repair a small hole in a dam rather than waiting for it to break, it's important to identify the early signs of anger and understand your triggers. By recognizing the initial stages of anger, you can take a step back and allow yourself to calm down before the situation escalates.
Relaxation Techniques
Simple relaxation exercises, such as deep breathing or meditation, can swiftly calm both your body and mind, alleviating anger. You can even practice these techniques using our app. With regular practice, you'll become more adept at relaxing even in tense situations.
Cognitive Shift
Certain situations may warrant anger, but it's essential to discern when making a mountain out of a molehill is counterproductive. Challenge extreme thinking and avoid using absolute terms like "always" or "never." During conflicts, such statements, such as "You never help with the dishes," reinforce your anger and hinder productive communication. Instead, encourage rational thinking and remind yourself that one situation does not define your entire reality.
Stay Active
Engaging in physical exercise provides a healthy outlet to release the energy accompanying anger. Whether it's going for a run, practicing yoga, or participating in other sports, physical activity can help process anger in a constructive manner.
Seek a professional
Working with a therapist on anger management can be immensely beneficial. They can help you identify triggers and develop strategies to avoid them. Therapists can also help you uncover the thoughts underlying your anger, and understand to what extent they are based on reality. Therapy also equips you with conflict resolution skills and enhances your overall communication abilities. While therapy is unreplacable, our psychological counselors are available to assist you as you embark on your anger management journey.
Remember, managing anger is a personal process, and it may take time to find the approach that works best for you. However, by acknowledging the importance of anger management and committing to self-improvement, you can cultivate a healthier and more fulfilling life.
Check out the resources we used if you want to learn more
- American Psychological Association. (2019, December 30). Understanding anger: How psychologists help with anger problems. https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/understanding
- American Psychological Association. (2011, October 1). Strategies for controlling your anger: Keeping anger in check. https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/strategies-controlling
- American Psychological Association. (2022, March 23). How to Keep Anger from Getting the Best of You with Howard Kassinove, PhD, and Raymond “Chip” Tafrat (YouTube). https://youtu.be/BNJPANGrNiI